Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
