is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
