So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
