so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
