we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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