I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
