Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
