Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
