Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have fence marks all over my body
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
