as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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