I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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