we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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