You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
