Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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