Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
