I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
