I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
