Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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