dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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