sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
