morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
