did you get engaged???
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
