You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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