I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
