his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
