Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
