I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
