My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
