Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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