There was a lot of him and a little penis
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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