Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
