just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
