i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
