I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
