Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
