Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
