everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
