umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
