found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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