never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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