yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
