He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
