His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
