Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
