Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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