Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
