I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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