Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
