evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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