Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
