She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
